When My Faith Is Small
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:29-32
He stepped out in faith. Even though it was humanely impossible, he trusted his master. But then doubt clouded his mind when he looked around and saw how dangerous this was. What was he thinking? Walking on water?! And so he began to sink. In desperation he screamed out for help.
So many times in my own life I have felt like Peter. I have stepped out in faith but when I see the wind I stop short. In my mind this is how I have sometimes believed Jesus responds to the Peters of the world “You have no faith! Can’t you see I’m right here with you? Obviously you don’t trust me so why should I listen to your cries for help? Sorry, but you’re on your own in this one!”
But that’s not what happens next. What Jesus does to Peter is what he has done with me countless times. It says that “immediately Jesus reached out” and brought him out. Jesus points out Peter’s small faith but he does not condemn him for it. Yet the focus of this story is not necessarily about what little faith Peter had but about what a caring, generous God was with Peter that night. Too many times my focus is on the size of my faith, of my doubts. There have been moments when looking at my faith I became discouraged and depressed. I reproached myself endlessly, “why can’t you have complete faith in God?” “God will not answer my prayers because my faith is small” and on and on I went. But the focus should never be on us; instead it should be on Jesus. When we focus on ourselves, we will lose heart. When I start to drown because I have an imperfect faith that is mangled with doubt, Jesus reaches out and pulls me out. When we turn our eyes towards him, we are met with forgiveness, understanding, and best of all unending love.
